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Enjoy and do leave a comment at my tagboard(when its up)! xx Rachel
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Wednesday, March 30, 2011 @ 12:54 PM
f
i promised myself i'll start blogging more positive things.
but maybe the next post. im so disappointed with myself, the moment i tell myself i need to start picking up the pieces, something bad happens and i just drop everything i have and fall back to the ground zero. why cant i stay strong, i dont know. why cant i ah, why do i even bother, when the only person i want to sincerely please doesnt give 2 hoots about my feelings. i hate to admit to this but im so emotionally beat up and abused, by myself maybe, by someone else, maybe. i m tired |
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Saturday, March 12, 2011 @ 12:40 AM
dunzo
have you ever felt inredibly pissed at someone who doesnt matter.
like, someone who's of no importance in your life, yet just having to look at them, or act like you like them. its a bunch of bull im not going to act as though i like you, and im not going to talk to you just for the sake of 'looking good' i'm so sick of seeing your name on my Live Feed, i've removed you permernantly from my Wall. its like God is trying to be funny, putting you where he did. ps, i cant hold my liqour, heck i cant even hold alcohol, but one thing i can hold is a grudge. and you really. piss. me. off. stop trying to be nice. i dont give a crack. xx,r |
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Friday, March 11, 2011 @ 10:05 PM
had
ive had dreams.
not one, not three, Many. i used to think i was so close to finally tasting just abit of those dreams. but instantly, i always fall all the way down. what am i missing? I once thought i'd be of use in his house, i wanted to dance, i wanted to help, i wanted to sing, i wanted to play the guitar, i wanted to share. im a hardworker, honestly, not to show them i could, but because i just wanted to be used. i spent nights, visualising what could be. and days, practising and staying focused. but now, not many, not three, not even one of my dreams have even started taking off. i find myself pulling and just surviving through the days. ive stopped expecting, ive stopped dreaming, ive stopped being.. me. i miss myself, but im tired of trying again. xx, r |
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@ 1:05 AM
timing
Tonight, in an attempt to finally spill my guts to someone,
I found myself standing by a quiet street, Drenched to my bones, in the middle of the night, with no transport home. I dont know whats more scary, the fact that if someone had kidnapped me, no one would even be able to hear my screams, or the fact that I had No One to talk to, when i'd finally mustered all my courage and dug deep. im going for the latter. How theatric; that when a taxi finally was stopping for me, a puddle of water splashed all the way from my shoes to my whole skirt. Not only was i freezing cold in the cab, i was also tending to a broken heart. It didnt help that the driver had on some Emotional Love Song. Maybe im Selfish for thinking that someone would bother hearing me rant at midnight. I Know Better Now. Life, im sick and tired of playing games xx, R |