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Enjoy and do leave a comment at my tagboard(when its up)! xx Rachel
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Friday, July 30, 2010 @ 11:51 AM
oh contradiction
Dear Daddy,
i tell people all the time to remember themselves. i tell them to learn to say 'No' i tell them to live life, not its' motions. but truth is, i cant even do it myself. ive been so busy, and even more physically worned out. knowing that i CANNOT miss school (every lesson missed is -7 marks for overall final grades) i told someone to give me a morning call. as little as this task may seem. it-is-very-important. (because -7 marks = a difference of 1 grade eg. A to B, or D to E/F) yes, in nafa you can Fail. and as i expected i overslept all my alarms, all 15 of them. AND i did not get the morning call i needed. i woke up frustrated. why is it that i can help so many people do things, and this ONE little thing that i need, i cant get. I JUST WANT TO WAKE UP TO GO TO SCHOOL, WHERE IS MY MORNING CALL?!?! i give up. im going to the docs' later to get my MC. i cant feel my legs, my nose is blocked, im still tired. i know you dont like it when i whine and complain. but im upset. people promise me things they cannot fulfil all the time. and so why do i have to always push myself and do my best to fulfil theirs? Daddy, whats happening to me? i used to love being there for everyone. why am i turning into one of them now? i dont want to be skeptical. i dont want to be unkind. i dont want to push responsibilities away. i know ive always wished for a birthday party. but this birthday, Daddy, i just want rest. i miss spending time with you. i miss being able to stay awake through our talks, and having nothing else on my mind when im with you. do you know i love you so much, even though i know i havent been giving you my all recently. i am sorry. this birthday Daddy, expand my capacity. not to do things, but to Love. xx your really-wishes-to-be-faithful-daughter, Rachel |
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Thursday, July 15, 2010 @ 7:36 PM
when you Love, you Try.
I try. so. hard.
and when circumstances around me tells me to stop and turn around, i just keep trying. am i going overboard? no. When does Love go overboard? never. you can never Love enough. xx Rachel |
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Monday, July 12, 2010 @ 7:46 PM
Another Shot
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